Adventures in Paper Pregnancy

I think it goes without saying that adoption is a wee bit different than your average pregnancy. The obvious things are missing. The baby bump, the ultrasounds, the cravings…well I’ve been wanting ice cream but I’ve being told by my wife that apparently that doesn’t count…*sigh*…fine. In any case we’ve long come to terms with the fact that we’re not going to get the average expecting parents experience (sounds like a Disney thing doesn’t it? “The Expecting Parents Experience” *cue music*). However, we get our own experience that involves no stretch marks, back pain, or morning sickness as far as Amy is concerned (I on the other hand…ok I’m just kidding I don’t have any of those…maybe). So what’s the catch? Well, what we do get is a process that takes over twice as long and involves more paperwork than your standard mortgage. Sound fun? Lets dive in…

Those of you who have read about our adventures in Italy know that I’m not really big on bureaucracy. I’m a patient guy generally but I was apparently born with a built in limit on how much I can stand of anything that is essentially a man made patience test. It’s why I have someone else do our taxes, because at this point if I had to do it myself I’m pretty sure it would end with me printing out the entire tax code and setting fire to it in my driveway (now that I’ve written this I think I know what I’m going to be doing next July 4th…). So when the term “paper pregnancy” became part of my vocabulary I smiled and nodded at our social worker on the outside while on the inside my brain was doing this:

I’m not going to sugar coat it, as much as I understand the intent and importance of protecting children who are being adopted the process is essentially an invasive few months worth of paperwork and interviews in which you ask permission to have children. There were some days where the rational side won out and I was completely understanding…and others where I tested Amy’s patience while I railed against the idea of having to ask not one, but two governments, if they’re ok with me being a parent. Fortunately, we have had Lifeline Children Services helping us every step of the way. At the very least just the ability to email and ask, “Ok, what paperwork don’t we have?” (this was a pretty constant question), has taken a huge load off. That and they did the interviews (which is another post all its own) so it was like talking to a friend about our lives and not a perfect stranger…not that I don’t do that (sorry dude in the elevator). If we had to do all of this ourselves I’m not sure we’d come out on the other end with adopted children, but absolutely sure there’d be medication involved.

Fortunately, just the other day we received in the mail a copy of our completed home study. After several months of reading, writing, and answering questions we have definitive proof that Amy and I are “normal” enough (and crazy enough apparently) to adopt children. This was immediately followed up by an email to start the next round of paperwork.

This is, of course just part of the process. Through the home study we learned a lot about ourselves, our marriage, and the adoption as we had to answer questions we’d never had to put into words before (like, “What do you think is the worst case scenario…”…uh… We’re terrible parents…?) As time goes on there will be yet more paperwork to add to the paperwork pregnancy, and stories to go with it.

If you’d like to be a part of this process you can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/2btp44b8 or here on www.bashams.us there is a link to donate using Paypal in the upper right hand corner.

Also, if you or someone you know needs I.T. help you can visit www.dpbasham.com and contact me. I’m giving I.T. help for donations.

Thanks so much and stay tuned, the interviews are next…